ADAM'S APPLES

When daddy looked for a good horse, or a good hunting dog, he looked for the right markings.  You don't get to do that with kids.  You get what you get.  I remember my cousin Emma was born with a big black birthmark in the shape of a boot on her left cheek.  (I saw it one Saturday night when we took a bath in the # 3 washtub, and she stood up and turned around).  Cousin Harvey had a peanut on his shoulder which was brown, and he charged a penny for a look.  Now, if you do happen to be born with a birthmark; you only get one, that's the rule.  That was not the case with my friend Adam, who broke that rule for sure.  Adam entered this world with perfectly shaped tiny red apples stamped all over his newborn body.   He was utterly besplattered with them from head to toe.  Some said it was because he was born in a hot air balloon, and it just wasn't natural to get "borned" that high up.  Others said his mama worked the apple orchard too close to birthin' time, but I think his folks ate too many apples, and that's that.  I say it's a darn good thing they weren't raising rutabagas, 'cause Adam wouldn't of come out looking nearly so good.  All the girls thought he was cute, and the boys thought he was bewitched, so he got along fine at school.   Whether Adam liked it or not, he was still somewhat of a sideshow.  Folks who met the boy for the first time would ask him about his apple marks, and he would just laugh and say he guessed he must have been baptized in apple juice.  He was real good natured about it, and that added to his charm.   Oh, he was a charmer, that Adam.  His Maw and Paw never turned anybody away who came to the house to have a look at their boy.  Turned out it was real good for business.  They sold more apples after Adam was born than they could have ever dreamed or imagined.  Eventually, a fella from the city was hired to come out and take a picture of Adam.  Next thing you know, the photographer got rich off of the photo, and went back to the farm.  He put up the money for Adam's folks to build a big two story house, and some good size woodstove sheds.  The family sold apples, apple pie, apple cobbler, applesauce, apple dumplings, apple butter, apple fried pies, apple fritters, apple cake, apple seeds, and apple trees.  With help from the photographer, they also got labels printed with Adam's speckled face on it, and the words, "Adam's Apples" in big red letters.  Of course, like everybody does, Adam grew up and got married.  Two years later he had a son, born with one birthmark. It was always told that the baby was born with an apple in his hand.