Uncle Lester and Aunt Margaret never did have a kid. Well, I take that back; they had one, and his name was Billy Herman. He was a pretty good kid, housebroke and everything. Most days, the three of them were happy, and lived like a real family. Aunt Margaret was easy to get along with, but one day Billy Herman ate his own bed. She pitched a fit all over him, and the two of them were eyeball to eyeball when Uncle Lester walked in. I guess he sensed the next move was his, so he said something stupid, like; "Oh now Margaret, you know kids will be kids". Margaret just looked at him for a minute. All of a sudden she rared up, backed her ears, and grabbed the bread dough. Uncle Lester froze, and that dough caught him right square in his "credentials". In a high pitched voice, he yelled, "Run Billy Herman, Run!" The two of them struck out the front door, and ran till they got tangled up in the blackberry patch. Uncle Lester got the worse case of chiggers you ever did see from it. Aunt Margaret fetched another feed sack to make the kid a new bed, and got herself together. A few days later after Uncle Lester healed up, he got ready to take a ride in the wagon, with Billy Herman right beside him, of course. There was a trail that made a big sweep over several farms, one of which was Old Sam's place. Sam was always on the front porch when Lester drove by, and they always exchanged the same silly greetings every time. It went like this...Sam would holler, "Hey Lester!" "How much you take for that goat of yours!" "Pickled eggs and butter beans!" says Lester. "All's I got is hog jawls and turnip greens!" says Sam. "Got some!" says Lester. "Maybe next time!" says Sam. That was the extent of their conversation each and every time. They sure were good friends. Uncle Lester and Billy Herman were inseparable, and Aunt Margaret didn't really mind tending to either one of them. She especially got a kick out of watching the two of them out on the front porch together. Sometimes they sat quietly and stared at the sky, and sometimes they romped around. Now and then, they shared the same little brown jug. Uncle Lester got a sip, the goat got a nip, and they both sang "Waltzin' Matilda" in four/four time!
