"Father, I am NOT a piece of fruit!!" retorted Tilley, as she angrily left the parlor and sought refuge in her room. Under his breath, Abram Bowman muttered, "But you're ripe for the pickin'." Abram had six sons and one daughter, and it was time to marry her off. "Now, go get your courtin' dress on, and don't talk back!" said Abram. "Where's mama?!!" screeched Tilley, as she emerged with the garment. "I can't get this ol' fancy pantsy dress on all by myself!!!" She threw it at her brother Joel, and defiantly prissed out of the house still wearing her overalls. "Tilley, you can't make me hold this!!" "I'll drop it, I swear I will!!" yelled Joel. "Burn it for all I care!" she screamed; and shimmied all the way to the top of the Magnolia tree. "Don't want NO pickers comin' after me", she pouted, "No sir, don't want NO pickers comin' after ME!!" Trouble was, Tilley was pretty, and all the single young men from "Way Mountain" were looking to pick a wife. (Way Mountain got it's name from the fact that it was way way way way up there.) On the mountain, men were raised to pick a wife like you were inspecting a vegetable or a piece of fruit, making sure it was young and tender, but not overripe. It's not as if they had any kind of formal training in regards to etiquette or social graces. There wasn't much time for courtin' because the chores never let up. The rule was passed down from father to son, and pretty much set in stone, "Make sure she's ripe for the pickin', and don't kiss her like a large mouth bass." Now, there's a formula for success if I ever heard one. No wonder Tilley took to a tree. I would too, and if I didn't have one, I would climb yours.
So, there sat Tilley in the top of the Magnolia, gazing at her bare feet, and remembering many of the times she had picked dandelions with her toes, and waded in the cool spring by the potato shed. A caterpillar and a row of ants joined up to help with her distraction. But alas, soon she was jarred back to reality by the sound of her mother's voice calling. After all, it was "the" day. Tilley's parents had agreed to entertain four young men who wished to meet with their daughter. Certainly it would be no debutante ball, but there was to be a cordial meeting of sorts between Tilley Bowman and the four pickers. Plans had been made, and a wagon had been sent for the suitors. Most young ladies would have been at the brim of fainting from anticipation, but Tilley was just plain mad. She was so mad, she vowed to get even. "I'll show them!", she declared, as she made her way to the parlor, and deliberately ripped a hole right in the front of that fancy dress. Right...in front of Lowell, Gerald, Lawrence, and Claypoole. There they were, the four pickers, standing in the parlor as Tilley showed up and showed out. Abram took his daughter by the hand and quietly seated her in the "reading" chair. In return, the four young men seated themselves on the sofa, and each one silently prayed to die. Despite her shocking behavior, Tilley was still very pretty to look at. At that point, none of the pickers were brave enough to speak. "Mama" was busy, offering tea cakes and fresh lemonade to all. Outside, the brothers were chasing dogs, and the dogs were chasing chickens, and the brothers were catching chickens, and wishing to God that they could go inside. In the meantime, Tilley was wishing she could go outside, the pickers were sweating, Abram was nervous, and the whole blame bunch was eating tea cakes and drinking lemonade. Mama sat down. If anyone was breathing, you couldn't tell it. The room was so still and quiet. "Mama", said Tilley, "You look very nice today." Again, total silence. Mama got up and left the room. Abram got up and left the room, and Tilley was forced to face the pickers. "My name is Tilley Bowman, and I don't intend to change it any time soon", she said, and then she looked away. Lawrence was the first of the pickers to speak up. With a smile he said, "Miss Tilley, my name is Lawrence Barling, and I don't rightly expect to be changin' my name either." Claypoole , Lowell, and Gerald got up and stood at the front door with Abram. With nothing else to do, they mused over the patriarch's vast corn and cotton fields. A relieved Lowell spotted a banjo on the porch, and the second he got permission, he went for that banjo like a fool after gold!! Now, as everybody knows, there's nothing quite like music to set a mood, change a mood, or start a mood. Lowell got to pickin' on the porch, and pretty soon drew a crowd. Lawrence and Tilley came outside; and the brothers gathered 'round, along with Mama, Abram, the other pickers, and all five dogs. (Stringed instruments got made and played on the porches of many homes in the hills) You could hear the sounds of fiddles and banjos for miles around. It was irresistible if there was a moon and a clear starry night, don't you know. Lowell played away, and was soon joined by Lawrence who borrowed a fiddle from Tilley's brother, Joel. After that, Claypoole and Gerald took turns playing, and it started getting dark outside. Some neighbors showed up with food and drink, and next thing you know; more neighbors, more food, more drink, plenty of moonlight, and there was a mountain folk party going on with dancing and everything. Tilley got real relaxed after a bit, and decided to sing. It turned out she was real good in the key of "G", and could sing just about anything. Lawrence was already smitten with her by then, and the other pickers knew it. So, they decided to get the four of them together for a song, so as to celebrate the success of the "picking". There were plenty of instruments to go around by then, so Lowell, Lawrence, Gerald, and Claypoole played "Take Me Home Mama", and Tilley sang on the second verse. The mountain folk clapped and cheered so hard and loud, that it was almost scary!! Tilley stood like a statue, and then started singing the first verse, and the boys joined in. It was a successful time, to be sure as a new singing group was formed that night, called, "Tilley Bowman and the Four Pickers". True to her word, Tilley didn't change her name (for business purposes), but she married Lawrence Barling, and they traveled all over with the band for years and years to come, and lived happily ever after.
