THE ARGUMENT

It was early and a most lovely day!  Old Mr. "Clum" Thompson  was headed over to Old Mr. Amos Walter's place.  Everybody knew without  looking because Old Clum's wagon had a real bad squeaky wheel, which he did not intend to fix.  I could hear Mama in the kitchen singing "Beulah Land", and there was a symphony of familiar sounds going on outside. Between the old squeaky wheel, birds, dogs, and crows, it sounded like "squeak squeak, tweet tweet, yip yip, caw caw", "squeak squeak, tweet tweet, yip yip, caw caw".  I laughed at the thought of it, and danced all the way outside.  Old Clum slowed down when he saw me and said I could come along.  (He was an excellent judge of character and knew how nosy I was).  When we got to Old Amos' place, he was skinnin' a rabbit, so I didn't jump down right away.  Old Clum asked me if I was just gonna "set there like a flapjack waitin' for some butter", so I got down.  I was thinking to myself how they sure did look old, and I asked which one was the oldest.  To my surprise, neither one knew exactly how old he was! At the time each was born nobody around those parts could read or write.  It used to drive the census takers crazy, so most times they just made up something.  Old Amos guessed that he was the oldest, but Old Clum disagreed, and they spit and sputtered about it for a good fifteen minutes, got tired and sat down.  After they caught their breath they decided to settle the matter for good.  "Here we go", I thought, "they're takin' it behind the barn"!!  Old Clum had a better idea.  The old bridge over Watson's Creek needed a good fixin', so whichever one got to the middle first, was finished, and therefore was the oldest.  Old Amos thought it was a fine idea, and went to fetch his mule.  Old Clum asked him why, and Old Amos didn't like it, so they spit and sputtered about it for a good fifteen minutes, got tired and sat down.  After they caught their breath that time, they discussed what size boards, and nails, and how much rope they needed.  If one said three feet of rope, the other said different.  If one said one size nail, the other said different, and every time, they would spit and sputter about it, get tired and sit down.  Well, the sun went down finally, so it was too late to start anything that day.  They decided to try again another time, and Old Clum and I left.  Old Clum certainly never did fix that old wheel, and for a long time, most mornings, I could hear, "squeak squeak, tweet tweet, yip yip, caw caw", and I laughed at the thought of it.